K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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