is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
