I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
