Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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