I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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