would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
