You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize