After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
