My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
