I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
