Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Randomize
