So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
