She's JV to your varsity
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
