so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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