Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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