If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
