That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
