she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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