She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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