I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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