She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
