You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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