I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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