operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
