Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
