He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
