I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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