he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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