Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
