The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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