At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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