Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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