You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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