try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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