I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
