I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You smell like stripper and shame
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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