i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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