The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
