so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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