Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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