i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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