I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
