Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
