i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
