Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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