How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so explain again why im purple
no
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
