My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
