So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Found the puke drawer
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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