Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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