he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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