Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
