I must be too annoying 4 u.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize