forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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