we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
