And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
