She's JV to your varsity
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
