me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
