Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize