dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Don't tell me you're on acid again
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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