As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
