We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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