i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
