gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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